I'm going to step out of my comfort zone a little bit here.
Situation:
2 people are in a room, they know each other fairly well. One is attempting to have a discussion about an issue. This issue had been raised many times, and the other person either ignores the conversation or denies that there is a problem. Normally the first individual will just sigh and bottle up the frustration. This occasion was different though. This time, the first individual kept pushing the conversaition because there was proof of wrongdoing on the 2nd person's part. Person 2 kept ignoring the conversation. Person 1 was tired of this issue never getting resolved, so Person 1 got more into person 2's face, both verbally and physically (no insults, and verbal abuse, just escalated volume and emotion. Person 1 did not touch person 2). Person 2 continued ignoring (and persuing something else with their focus) until Person 1 eliminated that distraction.
This angered person 2 to the point where they struck person 1 in the face.
Now, we're going to call this "Stage 1".
Both individuals could have handled the situation better. No question. I just want your reaction. Who was more in the wrong? Person 1 or Person 2?
Stage 2
These people are married. Does that change the situation? Do you already have a "Gut reaction" as to if the guy struck the girl, or the girl struck the guy? Why was that your first reacation?
stage 3
Person 1 is the Husband, Person 2 is the Wife. Now, I have more questions.
A)If you right away thought that the man struck the woman, why was that your first instinct?
B)Why does society think it's "more ok" for a woman to strike a man then a man to strike a woman, even if the situations are identical
C)If Striking someone else out of anger and retaliation is ABUSE why is it justified for women and not at all for women?
D)If women want equality (and for the most part I think it's a good thing if its in a healthy way) why would the women get a minor charge (if at all) while the man would have "the book" thrown at him?
E)What if the WOMAN had the history of violent outbursts... would that still make this "more ok" then if the man had struck the woman (given no history of violent outbursts?)
Please, if you read this I want your responses. I know of this situation personally and am seeking input.
sounds dicey... not sure WHAT I think....
ReplyDeleteI tried to post my comment here, but it told me I talk too much. :D Therefore, my comment to you is on my blog:
ReplyDeletehttp://farmerinthe-dell.blogspot.com/2011/11/comment-to-andrew.html
OK confession time. I'm the guy. maybe that was no surprise. 2 years of marriage for the majority of it I have been subjected to verbal abuse (and death threats which I didn't take very seriously until recently ) for most of those months. Now physical violence. From the worlds view I have every ground for legal action and divorce. As a Christian man, I find it a little more "dicey" (good word Noel!) as to how to proceed.
ReplyDeletePOST #1
ReplyDeleteEvery relationship/marriage has it's quarrels. You need to know where the line is drawn. Physical violence, death threats, consistent verbal ABUSE and consistently never wanting to deal with serious issues pertaining to your relationship are lines that NEED to be drawn.
(sorry, it doesn't all fit in one message)
POST #2
ReplyDeleteI hate to be the black sheep here, but Christian relationship or not, what you are going through is NOT healthy. I'd suggest counciling (both separately and together) to try to work through these issues first. If that goes with no success (or one party refuses counciling to better the treatment of their partner) then I think there are common grounds for some series legal action... if not for the dreaded "D-word" but for the death threats.
Take action with your relationship. Seek help from your church. Don't let this sit in the darkness, otherwise you'll never see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanyou as well Anon. I will be talking to a pastor at church hopefully this weekend, although my mind is pretty much made up as to a course of action. I've been thinking a lot about this since "the event". Divorce is a last option, but I believe now that separation for now is the only option. I'll see what Pastor T says though.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you all for the input. It is valued very very much!!
I saw it coming. All I can say is "I'm sorry I couldn't help you more."
ReplyDelete