6

I've come to realize that its been almost a year since I did anything with my blog. I thought it had been shut down due to inactivity, but it turned out I was trying to log into the wrong account!

So, what's happened in the last year? Well, lots. We've moved twice. I'm on my 3rd job since then. We've come close to throwing everything away. We've lost some friends, gained some friends, reconnected with old friends, and come to realize that sometimes doing what is RIGHT (morally right, not socially right) is going to very quickly point to who is going to stand by you

Now granted, its not always easy to make that choice. And often, it can be hard to be supportive of someone who is fighting to do what is right. Its very easy to give up doing what is right, either for yourself or to support those who have made a choice to do what is right.

I'm talking here about marriage. In the last few months Susie and I have had some real struggles. I just about threw it away. I was half a hair's width from walking away and forgetting about what is RIGHT. So, right at the breaking point I made a choice. I made the choice to honor my wife, and my vow to God

Really, at the end of the day (or rather my life) I will have to answer for my choices. No one else will have to answer for me if I choose to stay with my wife or to leave her. Its easy to point out how "right" or "justified" I would be if I did leave. And some people had good points. But when I chose to do what is RIGHT, a few people suddenly removed me from their lives. Or they removed themselves from our life. However you look at it, when I/we didn't respond the way they wanted us to, then suddenly they want nothing more to do with us.

Maybe they got tired of being a support. Maybe they have enough crap to deal with and don't want to help a couple do things the RIGHT way. Maybe they're mad because I didn't respond the way they thought I would, or the way I said I wanted to (in the heat of the moment)

But we went to see the pastor who married us. One thing he said stuck with me. He said (not a direct quote, but close enough), "We wanted to make sure you guys were ready. We put up roadblock after roadblock (referring to personal/individual counseling, as well as pre-marriage courses) to make sure you could stick out the hard times. Remember how hard you fought to GET married? Now fight that hard to STAY married!"

I guess in the last month or so, we've lost some people we thought were good friends, and re-connected with some old friends... in fact we reconnected with someone I knew back in Bible school (1996-1998). God knows who we need in our lives. I think sometimes we know that too, but fight to hard to hold on to the people who are slowly poisoning us because it seems right, but don't fight hard enough to stay with the people who speak truth into our lives (even though sometimes truth is hard to hear). A pastor at our church said one time "Truth doesn't cause hurt. It only reveals hurt that is already there."

Well, here's hoping I start tending my blog with a little more regularity.